Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

deaths dream(3) - the sun hitting the earth

Sunday, April 1, 2007

I don't really have much to say about this one, except that it took me forever to right and I don't know if most of the spelling is right. but its jam packed with some fun fact stuff so, its fun for me.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1927    RATING: 6.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

Tweet

Serenity had touched down on Orlican an hour ago and Mal, Wash, Zoe and Jayne were getting ready to take the goods they had transported for badger to his client. Since they had spent so much time in the ship on there voyage here, they had decided to take a few days off in port. Mal, Jayne, Wash and Zoe were just finishing putting the last of the cargo on the mule and Kaylee was saying goodbye to Inara.

« Bey nara' »

« Bey mei-mei, stay out of trouble now. »

« Alright, practice safe sex. »

« you too. »

The two laughed, and kissed each other on the cheeks. Inara walked into her shuttle closed the hatchway.

« If the walls of that there shuttle could talk, what stories they would have. » said Jayne, leaning on the mule and staring at the closed doorway.

« I think they'd have a French accent. » said Wash.

****

Kaylee walked into the dinning area to find Simon sitting in front of a wave-box typing on its numerous keys.

« Whatcha' doin' sweety. » said Kaylee, trying to read over Simons shoulder.

« I'm trying to get in touch with a old friend from college. He was a brain surgeon and spycoligist specialist and I'm trying to find out if he'd take a look at River for me. »

« What's his name? »

« Jailwen Kwaad, but everyone called him Jay »

« Can you trust him? »

« I think so, he owes me a few. I once got him out of jail for indecent public exposure. »

Kaylee laughed and kissed Simon on the cheek. She still couldn't believe that they had gotten together. He had always seemed to uptight when they weren't officially dating but when they were alone together he was actually very sweet and mellow, even a little funny. He said it was because the pressure of impressing her was off him a little.

« I never knew that the world of medicine had such a seedy underbelly. »

« Oh, you'd be surprised what we get up to. »

They started to kiss but, unfortunately, the wave-box signaled a incoming message. Simon broke off and ope

Comments
Sunday, 01 April 2007 13:44
Such a pity there are so many spelling and grammatical errors, it is very off putting. Please get someone to beta your stories before posting. Also, what in the world does 'spycoligy' mean? I cannot believe that even after River lists all the different kinds of murder Simon's so-called friend has had a hand in they still go through with it and let River enter that building. - Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Wednesday, 04 April 2007 02:28
Well...that was certainly interesting. Gotta agree with Alison in that the amount of spelling and grammar mistakes here made things much harder to plow through than was needed. And that's not even touching the issue I have with Simon trusting someone within examining River when the examiner has just as many mental issues as the patient. Can't even fathom how Jay would have gotten through MedAcad if he was suffering from schizophrenia:(

My advice? Ask around here for a beta reader. I think you got a great story idea here, MarchingBand...but it's getting buried under a large amount of roughness.

BEB
MARCHINGBAND
Saturday, 07 April 2007 22:44
I do plan on explaining why Simon trust him in the next (and last) issue of this story, also he was diagnosed after he graduated.

Post Your Comments

You must log in to post comments.