Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

The Gift: Act I

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Several years post-BDM. Story of new crew, of visiting relatives and of ponies. Feedback would be great!

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3569    RATING: 8.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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note: sure hope you like this! n if you don't please give me feedback cos i need to know where i'm goin wrong. it has been quite a while since my last fanfic... i think it's pretty self explanatory, but more shall be revealed so no worries. enjoy!

~~~

Put-put-put.

Daniel flung himself behind the rock, gasping for breath. The midday sun beat down on his dark head of hair and he dragged his hand across his brow, leaving a smear of dirt. He spun open the cartridge of his pistol and sighed.

“Empty.”

With a quick glance he peered from behind the rock, his clear blue eyes scanning the now empty horizon. “What the-”

“Hands in the air.”

Daniel froze. Slowly he turned to meet the stern eyes of his adversary. She stood tall and dark. The grip on her pistol and the firmness of her stance spoke of proficiency beyond her years.

The girl sneered. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t riddle you with holes, you piece of scum.”

“I’ll make you pancakes.”

“Hm… With syrup?”

Daniel rolled his eyes, scrambling to his feet. “Aw, come on Seph! You know we never get syrup!”

Sephora smirked. “ You can get some in Persephone, Li-wu.”

“An use up my allowance?”

“At gunpoint there ain’t no negotiation!”

“Or what? You’ll riddle me with pellets ?”

“Hell yes I will!”

“You wouldn’t dare anyway. Your Mother would-”

Put-put.

Daniel cursed, clutching his arm. Blood seeped through his fingers. “You mu-gou !”

“Kiss your Mamma with a mouth like that?”

“Oh, you are getting it…” Leaping forwards, he tackled Seph to the floor before she had time to react.

Kaylee sat in her deckchair at the end of the gangway, watching the kids scuffle in the dirt. Her fingers were occupied with some piece of machinery salvaged from a recent job. It was glorious weather, the perfect day to be planetside.

“Mamma!”

The pattering of feet caused Kaylee’s head to swing around. A child with a light head of hair tottered forwards, followed by her wary Father.

Comments
Wednesday, 14 February 2007 01:07
Very nicely written. It was a little confusing at the beginning who each of the children belonged to, but a few paragraphs in got me over that particular hurdle. "I'm great with kids!" haha. I wonder what Zuriel is going to bring to the party. Looking forward to the trip to Beylix.

Oh, one other thing. WHERE IS RIVER? Is she on Beylix? Hmmmmmm...I wonder what circumstances lured her off the ship and away from her brother.

-MG
Wednesday, 14 February 2007 05:15
And where in the name of all that's holy is our favourite trained-ape-without-the-trainig? Did the two of them (River and Jayne, I mean) actually settle down on Beylix?!?

And I hope Zuriel's not some freakjob, but someone the crew can come to trust. Cuz I gots me some worries about that right now:(

Still...brilliant stuff, and I wanna see more, Sofi! Bring it on:D

BEB

P.S. Rose inherited the Tam gene for superintelligence, huh? Oh, that's gonna make for some fun;D
Wednesday, 14 February 2007 07:08
great start.
Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:00
This story is really interesting so far! I was bummed at the lack of River and Jayne but now I'm thinking they settled down at Beylix? If that's the case then, woot! I wonder why they left the ship in the first place. Even if that's not the case, then I can't wait to find out where they are anyway.

I had this crazy notion that Zuriel is Jayne's son, but that's speculation at this stage. It was the piercing blue eyes and massive arms! I'm interested in finding out more about him anyway, he seems like an intriguing character. Also, the kids are great. It seemed inevitable that any children of Mal and Zoe's would end up together huh?

Nice work!
Wednesday, 14 February 2007 20:13
yey! so glad people like! =D <- this is my manic i've-got-comments grin!

thank you for encouragment guys! *scurries away to finish next part*
Thursday, 15 February 2007 17:01
Is this part of a series? If so, it might be good to note it somewhere. I was really confused as to where River was, and who all these kids were.

It was nicely written but my confusion over the above interfered with my enjoyment a bit.
Saturday, 17 February 2007 16:56
eek, sorry for confusion! i kinda aimed the river n jayne thing to be a mystery but perhaps i didn't make the kids thing clear enough.

thanks for pointin out the series thing =D

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