Darriel

Scene 1

Scene opens with Sheppard Book spotting Jayne bench pressing. River and Kaylee are running around, Mal and Zoë are discussing their need for a job and a meal containing some form of food.

Jayne: 98, 99, 100. Sheppard you wanna go?

Book: No thank you, I remember what happened last time.

Jayne: Huh, sorry about that…

Book: Very well, but pay attention.

Jayne: ‘right. (Gets up)

Book: Add another hundred pounds. (Lies down)

Jayne: You sure you can handle that old man?

Book: Oh yes, very sure.

Jayne: Don say I didn’ warn you. (Ads weight)

Scene 2

Zoë: So, what do you think sir?

Mal: Well, I think my boat’s fallin’ apart and I need to eat somethin’ that isn’t just protein.

Zoë: So, what would you suggest, sir?

Mal: Badger?

Zoë: Are you crazy sir?

Mal: Fanty and Mingo?

Zoë: They’d sell us to the alliance.

Mal: Who wouldn’t, Fanty and Mingo it is.

Scene 3

A small one man craft with a man about 30 years old.

Alphonse: 10,000,000 credits, I’ll take it. (Pushes buttons on the control panel, the screen shows a firefly class transport ship, captain, Malcolm Reynolds)

Scene 4

Mal: Who the hell is on my gorram boat?! (Red light is flashing on the bridge)

Wash: Well, there’s me, and you, and my wife, and River, and Simon, and Kaylee, and Inara, and Sheppard, and Jayne.

Mal: Well, who just got on the ship?!

Wash: Oh, probably just your wife.

Mal: SHE’S NOT MY WIFE!!!!!

Wash: Hey, it’s not my fault you’re married.

Mal: Alright, let’s go kill her.

Wash: Right, I’ll just leave the controls and let the ship crash, no problem.

Mal: We means, you’re wife and I.

Wash: Well then say that.

Mal: Right, I’ll be sure to do that next time.

Wash: Alright then.

Mal: Okay.

Wash: Aren’t you supposed to find the intruder?

Mal: Yeah, I just wanted to talk for a while. (Runs off)

Scene 5

Alphonse: (Shoots at Mal) Just hand ‘em over, I’m just here for the bounty.

Mal: You ain’t getting’ one of my crew.

Alphonse: We can do this the easy way, or the way where I waste ammo kill