Originally written for ana_grrls Back to Firefly ficathon at Live Journal. Prompt #137 Lost without you. Warning : Character death.

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They stood in a loose group around the headstones, eerily reminiscent of long ago. Some things had changed however.

Mal and Inara hugged each other for comfort, two strong people who’d resolved their differences at last. Zoe stood strong and quiet, watching Wash’s headstone unblinkingly. Kaylee clung to Jayne and their daughter. And he – he stood alone.

Simon sank down beside the gravestone. “I’ll be lost without you mei mei. What am I going to do?”

He remembered the day his sister was born. How important he felt when he was allowed first into his mother’s room to see her. Beautiful River, face surrounded by a fuzz of brown hair, her wise baby eyes had regarded him steadily and he fell instantly in love, brotherly, protective.

That had never changed; their childhood had been punctuated by his attempts to either shield her from or prevent her causing trouble. He’d spent his entire life being alternately worried by, proud and protective of, his much loved sister.

It was natural for him, when River needed his help, to try immediately to solve the problem. Simon had given up his career, his position, his suddenly non-existent family to concentrate on River. First her rescue, then her recovery consumed all his interest.

He’d been so focused on River, her potential recovery, their salvation - that Simon in the end had pushed Kaylee away.

He regretted that, and mourned what they’d had. But as he watched the slowly growing relationship between the mechanic and mercenary he realised that Jayne gave Kaylee all his interest. Something Simon could never do, because his sister still needed him.

Much more stable since Miranda, she would never be wholly ‘better’. Simon still felt the overwhelming protectiveness for her he always had.

In the end River hadn’t been killed by the Blue hands, the Alliance, Reavers, or anythi