The truth makes you crazy if you don’t filter it. Chaos, desire, mystery, darkness, loss.

~~~~~

Chaos:

Unconscious and floating, no feeling in her body, just a vague memory of new attraction then shock. Cold air crept over her skin, curling up the short hairs on her back, waking her to a world of sound and sensation. Light, bright and sharp in its painful nearness. Voices filled her mind, strange accents, scents filled her nostrils. Hard tang of oil and rust. The air was chilled and sharp, particles cut into her flesh, no softness or warmth. Nothing was familiar, even Simon was not as she remembered, he was scared, hard, trying to hold himself and her, still, in a sea that threatened to cast them out. Everything was confused, no place felt right. She shrinks back from the chaos there. No time, no thought to spare to find the thread. A tiny flame licks past her, she tries to grasp at it before it slips away. Beauty’s scent came over her, softness across her shoulders, jasmine and spice. Father was uncertain, not his child, a strange creature in the midst of his family. Shiny could not find her bearing with Simon blending refinement with terror.

Two as one, neither separate nor together. Try to make two, two, not one, would not become as two. Oldest wise soul burying darkness so deep she could flow through it and never see the light. Current of fear and cold sweat slid across the floor, climbed her legs, a creeping wrongness. Only one quiet port, one place where the sound is clear. Sees her as a girl, sees her body not trapped in her mind. Blood flows, heartbeat is strong and regular, no fear, no anxiety. Coursing red travels from center to extremes and returns along private paths. Warm darkness, like a cocoon of warm earth, heated from within by unquenchable fires protected from the winds and rains of the cold, chill air. Thoughts clear and free of all but curiosity. Nothing to distract her from her own sense of self. A quiet place in the storm. She grasped onto that straw, held it tight to h