Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

A duet in three parts

Friday, May 16, 2003

Be patient with me, this one will mature I promise. It happens a little after Objects in space. Beta comments are appreciated, I know its scattered, its supposed to be.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3127    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Disclaimer: The crew and most of the folk in this are not mine; I just have the pleasure of writing about them and playing is someone else’s world.

To the powers that be, please get the Firefly flying as soon as you can we miss her and her crew very much.

A duet in three parts…..

Happens sometime after objects in space.

________________________________________________

“Sometimes when they get as bad as this, its kinder just to end them. You have to think of the quality of their lives….”

An alliance doctor somewhere in the verse….

Prologue

The Mag Lev pulls into the station with a giant’s gasp, it settles for a moment, and then the doors pull back into the floor, and humanity in all of its many forms barrel out into the station.

There are men pushing their way through the crowd, women leading small crying children who in turn lead rag poppets or even small animals, and aristos, who are preceded by servants or porters all filling the station eager to be on their way to the huge city that soars around them.

Driscoll is the very example of a core world’s metropolis, it bustles with people all in a hurry to be busy, or at least appear so. The crowd surges forward and the station within the span of several seconds begins to clear.

Your eyes catch the man as he leaves the Mag Lev’s first class compartments, and why shouldn’t they? He is beautiful, tall and straight with amber colored hair and eyes the color of new plums from the Earth that was.

He is dressed to his station, in a lavender day coat, and he sports a silver cane that almost no one knows conceals a single shot derringer. He collects his one case and strides toward a nearby exit tunnel. Strange, you think, a gentleman this fine not having a porter or a slave for his fetch and carry. Still, some like to do for themselves, but usually they aren’t those that dress in day coats and carry fine canes.

This man has been paid a great deal of money to come to Driscoll, a great deal of money to finish a job that

Comments
Friday, 16 May 2003 15:39
Whoa! This fits so perfectly into the world of Firefly! I love how you describe the core world, and tell us about objects, places, and people that we've never been introduced to before. Also, that last line is great. I started to write all of my ideas for what I thought about that phrase, but I’m sure that’s what you want the audience to think about, and you’ll tell us soon. Very shiny, please update quickly!
Friday, 16 May 2003 16:04
Damn, that's action packed!

I had to read several sections twice because your pacing was so forceful my eyes just zipped.

Your vocabulary is perfect and very subtle.

But the pacing is what I'm really into here. Man, it just pounds!
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 16 May 2003 17:20
WonderfuL!!!!!!!!!
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 16 May 2003 19:00
BC

Very interesting. I am very intrugied to see who this young man is to Inara.
Someone from her past? A younger brother, perhaps but not a child. She's too young to have a adolecent son. Perhaps the son of a client that she treated like her own? Inara has that kind of nature.
Saturday, 17 May 2003 04:18
Impressive! and it left me wanting more of it, so write write write!
Saturday, 17 May 2003 14:28
Wow, that was fantastic. I liked your creation and use of "aristos" and "Alliance standard gravity". Paragraphs six, seven and eight (starting after "Prologue") are my favorite. The description of the crowd's subconscious reaction to the predator (7) and your reference to him as a "well-dressed shark" (8) are absolutely perfect. Also, nice expansion of the River/Academy arc. The suggestion that every "student" there may have their own rhyme for the blue-handed is good.

On the (extremely short) list of criticisms, I'd put that your title could use some work. It's not as bad as, say, "Planet Ice" (Cameron's working title for "Titanic") but it could use a little more cleverness.

All in all, it gets my two thumbs up.
Sunday, 18 May 2003 00:15
Very nice! Great setup -- I didn't expect to see the "shark" taken down!
ANONYMOUS
Sunday, 18 May 2003 02:11
Great work thus far, Badger! Really enjoying this! I'll drop you e with comments once I get back home from hols.

LJC
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 30 May 2003 20:34
Are you currently working on a follow-up? Will I be left wanting more and never being satiated? If you don't write more on this storyline it's going to be like FOX all over again. I need more.

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