Serenity is quiet; well, as quiet as she ever gets with the constant low heartbeat of her engines. A sound I now find oddly comforting as I sit at the kitchen table, just to the right of where the Captain usually sits, drinking a late night cup of tea. For some reason I actually feel completely relaxed. River has been much more stable since the events of Miranda several months ago. Her nightmares have either stopped or she has found a way to cope with them on her own, and her drug therapy seems to have stabilized. Kaylee and I also seem to have come to an agreement about our relationship, that although we both find each other attractive and sociable, that perhaps, we weren’t meant for anything more than just friends. The physical aspects of our brief love affair were, at best; awkward on my part, but Kaylee had been ever the patient shining star; just as she had always been from the moment I came aboard Serenity.

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My ship. That’s what Serenity is, but she means so much more than that to me; she’s home, comfort, safety, freedom…family. A family that has been sadly torn apart not too long ago. I now occupy the replaced pilot’s chair starring out at the black, occasionally at Wash’s dinosaurs, which will always remain, no matter what happens aboard Serenity. At night, when it’s quiet like this with just the engine’s heartbeat I think of Wash, Book, and the sacrifices everyone on this ship made in exposing the truth of Miranda. I can only hope that River’s brain doesn’t hold any more secrets of the sort, I don’t think my ship, my crew, or my heart could handle it.

As I get up from the chair and make my way towards the galley I can’t help but notice Kaylee’s bunk door is shut; it seems she and the Doctor are no longer sleeping together. I can’t hide a wistful smile that crosses my lips; I’m not the lecherous hump some believe me to be, so I am sad for her if she is hurting. But, I told her that she shouldn’t go working too hard on that crush. At the