THE PURSUIT SERIES: 1. "Savanna"
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
"When Serenity is attacked by the Alliance and crashes on an unknown moon, the crew think things cannot get much worse."
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 4249 RATING: 9.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
TITLE: "SAVANNA"
AUTHOR: Alison M. DOBELL
FANDOM: "FIREFLY"
PAIRING: No specific pairing.
RATING: G.
STATUS: First in the PURSUIT SERIES.
ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know where.
FEEDBACK: Welcomed.
EMAIL: AlisonMDobell@aol.com
WEBSITE: http://unilelu.net/Alison/Ali00.html
SUMMARY: "When Serenity is attacked by the Alliance
and crashes on an unknown moon, the crew think things
cannot get much worse."
The usual disclaimers apply. The characters and 'Firefly'
are the property and gift of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
No infringement of copyright is intended.
"SAVANNA"
"Firefly" story
Written by Alison M. DOBELL
* * * * *
Wash's voice telling Mal they had to find a place to hide kept recycling over and over inside the Captain's bruised head. "Tell me again why we're on this crappy moon?"
Wash's mouth opened and shut but nothing came out. Mal sighed.
"We crashed, Wash. My boat don't crash, you crashed us."
"It wasn't quite like that, sir. *Jide*? The Alliance were firin' at us." Put in Zoe, her voice a calm evenly modulated tone of reason. It helped ground him through the pain.
"Zoe?"
"Yes, sir?"
A pause. "Is it night time?"
A longer pause. "No, sir."
"What time is it?"
Silence. Murmuring, muttering, then another pause. "Watch is broken, sir."
"All I'm needin' is mornin', noon or evenin', *dong ma*?"
Awkward pause. "Sir? I'm guessin' mid-day, would there be some reason you're not knowin' that?"
He didn't say it. Couldn't say it out loud because that would make it real and real would be scary. He didn't do scary. "What about the others? Kaylee, Simon, River, Book? Jayne?"
This time it was Wash who spoke. Gorrammit, when had he moved? Man sounded not two feet away from him. "We haven't seen them."
"Best go find 'em. Need to stick together."
Now Zoe spoke, so close he almost jumped. "You don't look so good, sir. Where does it
How is it that they all got separated getting out of Serenity? You'd think they'd all stay together.
I like your Zoe voice. I'm so terrible at writing her, but you did a real good job here.
Very interesting start. I'm definitely looking forward to reading more!
"Behind him the walls of the cave narrowed and the roof became lower and lower tapering into a long dark funnel like an elogated crawl space into the very pit of *Diyu*."
wonderful descriptions, intrigue and plot-squee! great setting too--nice being off ship for a change. and what the go suh is happening with mal? can't wait for more of this.
The whole concept is great. Serenity being shot down, and the crew scrambling out of the wreckage to keep themselves from the Alliance.
Wash's mouth opened and shut but nothing came out. Mal sighed. *Total Wash, I can see him lift his head as if to say something....then....no, not a word.
Silently he prayed they would find Simon and the others alive and well. Then he said another equally fervent prayer, hoping against hope that when they did they could get back to the cave in time. *Very interesting characterization, Wash lifting up a prayer, thats a bit outside the box, but I loved it. I really like it when writers take the BDH's beyond what we know about them.
Kaylee blinked, close to tears. "But Serenity, the Cap'n..." *Totally Kaylee, great characterization.
"We have a job to do and we are doing it. The elite red division will take up the hunt." *I'm liking the concept of this "red division", and the description of them that comes in the next paragraph.
Like a lightening strike, fury flashed across Inara's face. "Who are you to make that decision for me?" *This would be Inara in this situation, so independent of her profession, in so many ways. Its her family and she would never disassociate herself willingly in times of trouble.
With a gasp of shock he felt the kiss of cool metal across his throat a second before he realised what was happening. *Jayne...good Jayne, you wrote this very well, and the scene played out very well.
Good job on this. I'm looking forward to reading the next installment.
I really wanna know what provoked the Alliance to wail on Serenity and force her down on Savanna. Did they know for certain River was aboard? If so, how? And I really wanna know if Mal's inadvertantly gone Grizzly Adams with a bear or something in that cave:(
Gotta admit...my first though when I read your description of the Red Division was "Oh Lord...an army of Jubal Earlys!" Cuz your construct of a Blue Sun-trained and modified cadre of special ops soldiers would explain Early's dress and behaviour as someone who got diddled with, used and abused, and discarded for being too nutzo;)
BEB
Well, at least we know they are all still alive...
Can't wait to find out more about Leylani
Hazel
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