Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Black Rock Ops: Going back home (part one)

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The one where things start to get "Interesting" for our BDH.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2305    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Black Rock Ops: Going back home (part one)

Rated PG13 just to be safe

~~~

Ext.- DEEP SPACE

We can see nothing but the black of space, the nothingness makes it difficult to tell whether you or the space around you is moving. There is no sound.

Then we turn and see a large steel object floating in space. It's a ship, a Firefly. Its lights are off and it floats aimlessly through the black, as it turns through space we see a large painted symbol on its side.

"SERENITY."

.

INT.- SERENITY'S BRIDGE

Inside we see the bridge is empty, the lights that used to glow on the console no longer do. Then we see a plastic toy T-Rex floating, and there are three bullet sized holes on the wind shield. Zooming in we can see a big hole in the re-enforced glass.

.

INT.- SEREINITY'S MED ROOM

The lights are flickering and outside the Med room, with the exception of the red lights blinking on and off, it is dark. Unlike the bridge it is not silent here, a siren is heard going off in tune with the red lights. There, crew run about as Mal shout directions, the scene seems chaotic in contrast to the female voice echoing through the halls.

SERENITY VOICE:

Warning! There is a breach in area one's atmosphere regulation system.

Warning...

Mal turns and stand is about to walk out of the med room when Jayne bumps into him.

MAL:

Jayne they're gone, so unless Vera can plug up that big hole they left you put her aside and prep the gorram suits!

Jayne looks nervous and he is armed with a very big gun (Vera.) He nods at Mal and walks quickly towards the suits.

MAL (cont.):

Kaylee! Kaylee! Where the diyu is that girl!

In the med room we see Simon filling a needle with some thing from a dark vial, behind him under the bed is River. She is shaking and Kaylee sits next to her probably trying to calm her but she hears the captain calling so she stands.

KAYLEE:

In here Captain!

Mal walks to her and sees river on the floor next to her. At that moment, River clings to Kaylee’s leg,

Comments
Thursday, 13 July 2006 20:52
ok guys, Hope you liked it comments good or bad would be great! Any thoughts on this let me know, I can use all the help I can get. Oh by the way this is the format I will be using from now on, hope thats ok with you all.
Thursday, 13 July 2006 23:39
I like that the Allaince is going to try and destroy Miranda, and get rid of all the evidence. And you have River as crazy as before Miranda, even though she said she was better? I'm interested to see where you go with this.

This format is a bit hard to read. You might consider capitalizing the names like a normal shooting script would look like. Might make it easier to read.
Friday, 14 July 2006 02:50
Leiasky I edited this to CAPs the name of places. Also i think you should re read this cause umm The alliance did destroy all the evidence... as in they turned Mirannda into a real black rock. all that happend about 4 years ago, now the crew are in real bad shape. ok any way, i am off to write the next bit. I will try not to make it have any flash backs if to many people are having trouble understanding the way i write them... just umm leave me some comments to let me know ok. gosh g2g "work, work, work!"
Friday, 14 July 2006 04:05
>Leiasky I edited this to CAPs the name of places.

By putting the names in caps like a shooting script, I meant the names of the characters as well. See here for an example: http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/firefly/season1/firefly-104.htm
Friday, 14 July 2006 04:44
Ok well i went through it again, I had seen this format before in my VC but i had forgotten when writing this cause i was to busy trying to bring you to sitting on the edge of you seats. Any way thanks, i hope this makes the story understandable. g'night folks! and again xie xie for all your comments!
Saturday, 15 July 2006 02:12
I really wanna know how and why River's gone back to being disturbed, even if only for a short while:(

Still...I am intrigued here, IR:D

BEB
Saturday, 15 July 2006 03:38
"It was a lie, a brilliant picture painted for those too close to the core or too far from the rim to feel any mistakes the Alliance might make. "

This is one of the most amazing pieces of writing that I've read in a long while *Fanfiction wise and any other book wise*

I cant wait to find out what has happened to Inara and also why River is still psycho. This is set 4 years after the BDM. Nice. I bet everyone has changed alot in so many ways. Keep writing and I'll keep reviewing mei-mei.
*Hugs*

P.s If I can offer some more feedback. Maybe do the flashbacks in Italics if some people are having trouble understanding them. Then again since I havent posted any fanfic's I dont know if this'll be possible. Just adding my usual 2 cents ^_~
Saturday, 15 July 2006 03:53
Thanks so much mie mie i thin your right! I'll check out how to do that.

Also I would like to take the op. to thank my beta Tayeatra whom has hepled me a great deal with this fanfic. THANKS SO MUCH!

also thanks to any one whom has commented, I'll let you know i'm working on answering your questions, and on leaving you with many more.

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