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« Show all entries for DECEMBER 2003
Saturday, 06 December 2003 05:22:02
I had shoulder surgery 2 months ago, and I recently began physical therapy. Doctor's orders: Put an ice pack on your shoulder for 20 minutes every night. So, I'm home laying on the couch with an ice pack on my shoulder. Just minding my own business, the way normal guys do. I pick up the remote, point it at my DVD player, and press PLAY. [i]"Take my love, take my land..."[/i] I begin to relax as Serenity winks at me from the TV. Then, my georgous girlfriend walks into the room. Because it's Firefly, I immediately hit the PAUSE button. She softly asks me, "Honey, are you ready to come to bed?" She is wearing see-through negligee and her boobs look really great. So does her vagina. I am stunned and aroused. I realize that her ass is wonderful also. I gasp, "But, I'm watching Firefly, how about having sex later?" She frowns at me and my genitals are on fire, but I manage to conceal my discomfort. I scowl at her and hiss, "You're in the way, I'm trying to watch Firefly!" I make the Claw sign with my left hand. Whenever I pretend to be a sorcerer and use the Claw sign, my girlfriend always gets scared and backs down. She storms off to bed, cursing, but not too loudly. Immediately, I take the ice pack off my shoulder and sit on it. I reach for the remote and press PLAY. [i]"I don't care, I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me..."[/i] I am at peace at last. Tomorrow will be another day.
Saturday, 06 December 2003 10:54:26
could I feel any worse? :crap: probably, but then I'd be in the hospital. Proving that I'm an even worse drunk than Simon in 'Jaynestown' I spent aout two hours last night throwing it all back up. :knife: I haven't done anything this stupid since I was a college freshman (which, admittedly, was only 5 years ago). Well, I'm off to eat something greasy and drink lots of water.
Saturday, 06 December 2003 13:31:51
Well, if you have read, or are reading, or intending on reading, or even if you've never heard of it, I had a nice discussion on Hitchikker's Guide. Well, actually, The Answer. This doesn't tie into Firefly (Which, I am working on), but it's still funny. Well, my friends and I have memorised our favorite parts, which if one of us forgets a part, or mess it up, we can correct it. Kind of sad, really. I love the part on alcohol, though. I've memorised half of it. I will spare you for now. That's just me, though. Well, DVDs are so long away...3 days isn't that long, but it seems like it. Gorram, move faster, days! Speed up time just a little. If this comes, true, I will regret saying that. Ah, well. I'm wearin' my cool non-sequitur shirt today. I made it myself. On the front, it says: Member of the American Non-Sequitur Society. Transitions are for Amateurs. The back: 2+2=Richard Basehart. Well, have a very merry, very shiny Christmas. Early. Keep flyin'!
Saturday, 06 December 2003 18:44:32
11:48am This blog will be on hiatus till after the first of the year. Now to confess the horrible, hideous truth. While ya’ll are sitting around watching the DVDs in the comfort and splendor of your homes, I will have hit the road to the land that technology forgot. That’s right folks, I’m off to my mom’s. Mom does not own a television, much less a DVD player. Much less the patience to let me sit and watch Firefly for 30 hours straight. That’s okay. I know the DVDs will be sitting in all their shiny splendor, waiting for me when I return. I wish you all the happiest of holidays and I’m looking forward to catching up on all the DVD chatter when I return. Peace, happiness and shiny things for all of you.