Going Dark

Monday, September 7, 2009 12:36 AM

I just posted my last fanart image to the BSR. And only now I realize I've never captured Inara. Yes, that's a commentary on me. I've come to appreciate 'Nara, for sure. And I've always had a strong, protective love for River. But over the years I've really developed a warm and deep bond with the Kaylee character (certainly fueled by Jewel's own endearing personality). There's so much child-like innocence and trust in Kaylee; always vulnerable and open; hurt, at times, but never closing off because of it. You know, the whole 'dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt.' thingy. In many ways, I'm so like Kaylee, my own self. Or rather, I so wish I could be like her (which, after a fashion, probably means I'm like her, after all). So I guess it's only fitting that I should end with Kaylee.

I guess I'm a experiencing some hurt myself. :( And no, not because no one appreciates my art, LOL. I ain't delusional. At best, I struck the occasional high note with my work. And I had peace with that. Rather, it pains me, every day anew, to see the Firefly light grow dimmer, every day anew. In earnest, I truly miss the days of lore, when the 'Verse was still brimming with optimism and life. I loved walking amidst the giants, all these talented artists who poured out their love for Firefly out of every pore. We weren't all good, but we were all there. And now, not so much.

And so, today I realized I can't keep flyin' like this. I'm not so afraid of losing something that I won't try having it. But the more I try having it, the more I realize it's gone. No, the 'Verse ain't dead; but it's dying: something a good deal more painful. :(

Yours in the 'Verse,

RB

COMMENTS: 3

Back to Blog Roll