NRKANGEL'S BLOG
If Given the Choice Between Destiny or Random Chance, What Would You Choose?
Friday, September 3, 2004 9:05 PM
27 days left...So I make my way to the coffee machine this morning and one of the ladies I work with asks me point blank if I'm leaving. I tell her, "Yes, the end of the month is my last day." She was shocked but said she knew something was up when our office manager (Mr.X) asked me what my future plans were at our last luncheon. (We have these any time we lose or gain an employee. By the end of the year, we'll be at a -5 on the gain/loss ratio... Makes me wonder where the jobs reports on the news are really coming from.)
My co-worker then confided in me that she was becoming unhappy with this place and wished she could leave, too. Unfortunately she has a husband and two kids so can't really leave unless or until she finds something else, first. (Is it me or is everyone secretly unhappy with their jobs/lives/other?? LOL!)
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I had dinner last night again with friends. One guy's wife was a little shaken up by a small accident that happened when she brought their new car into the dealership for work. Apparently one of the dealership employees ran into my friend's car just as it was being picked up! Good news is that no one was hurt and the damage is cosmetic. Bad news is that the car is only 2 weeks old! (Of course the dealership is paying for all repairs and gave them a loaner, but what a way to "break" in a new car! I felt so bad for her because you could see she was still shaken up about it.)
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Last night I also discovered something interesting that I hadn't really noticed before. My relationship with my friends up here has entered a weirdly strained phase. Voices get flat and they'll swap looks with each other when anything relating to my future, hopeful profession comes up in conversation. I don't want to bore anyone, so I avoid the topic unless directly asked. The weird part is that when they do ask about our progress, it feels like they don't really want to hear the answers.
I remember my parents would get like this sometimes when I was doing something they didn't approve of. They'd ask a question and listen non-comittally, looking at me sideways as if to say, "You're making bad choices, but I'm not going to interfere because you need to learn these things on your own..."
It makes me feel like the crackpot "inventor" relative, whose plans invariably go up in smoke while everyone looks on just shaking their heads saying "I knew that was going to happen."
Could it be that my friends just aren't happy for me? That's an odd thing to say, and I'm probably off the mark, but it's there nonetheless. The worst part is, the nonchalance and disinterested nodding really kind of hurt. Still, it's helpful in a way because it makes me even more determined to see this thing through.
Wow... too heavy for a Friday.
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Today I booked my flight for Montreal. I leave Monday at 6am. (Flying on a holiday is going to suck, but I'm travelling one last time on the company's nickle, so how bad can that be? I'll just have to bring scriptwork along with me and remember to take pictures this time so I can remember where I've been. (I'm not a picture-taking kind of person. I've always found that strange considering my affinity for travel and enjoyment of interesting places and interesting moments.)
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When Rod and I were up at the cabin, we asked ourselves the question about fate, luck and destiny. Both of us have known growing up that we wanted to do something creative with our lives but got sidetracked by life. So the question is, was it just luck or happy coincidence that brought us here, or did fate put this rabbit hole in front of us a long time ago? (You can think like that when it's late at night in the mountains.)
One way to look at is is that it was blind luck. Neither one of us was looking for any of this to happen. Only luck could explain how so many random events could line up the right way. Of course then there's the thought that it was inevitable that we'd get to where we are now, but we needed to travel down our respective paths in order to be ready for the opp
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