Oh sure take the green one...

Saturday, July 31, 2004 8:19 PM

Here it is another Saturday. Another weekend.

Based on the response of my last blog, I must be careful what I write. It became apparent to me that I came across as a shallow personality, whose mental awareness to the other side of people has promptly become obtunded. Should I attempt to “defend” my logic or move on not caring? Well, I do care. If I am going to put it all out on the line why not? In the aforementioned blog, I wrote about that she is “by far the most PHYSICALLY attractive woman I have dated.” That was not an exclusive remark. It simply meant that she is attractive physically. It does not mean that I am attacking her inner self, only questioning what we as a couple have to grow on. If these few weeks are the seed, I need to know the ph of the soil.

The male ego. A delicate flower in the so-called garden of life. Many of us are ridiculous really. For 20 minutes today I had to hear about how satisfying my boss is….sexually. Now really. I DON’T CARE. But what fascinates me is the obsession with phallic discussions. There are two types of male responses to such conversations. The first is the “defender.” This is the type that defends their manhood by telling others of its oversized proportional properties. Within this type there are two subgroups; those that instigate and those that are passive; they only fire when a threat is eminent. The Second type is the complete opposite of the first. Instead of bragging about the enormity of themselves, they simply discuss how undersized they happen to be. I fall into this category. Laughter as a defense mechanism. “I’ve never measured. What if you thought it was one size, but after you checked it, it is smaller than you thought. I have no proportion judging skills. I’d be crushed.” It sounds funnier than it’s written.

My whole point on this tangent is to say this. In the end women have the power. The male ego is dictated by their response, not ours. They can destroy us with one word…”Small.” If it were the other way around we’d all be some very arrogant individuals. It’s all about balance, or at least I hope so.

I am running low on self-esteem.

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