Post thanksgiving break blues

Tuesday, November 28, 2006 10:46 AM

I'm not even sure that I should be putting this here, but I'm feeling really down after thanksgiving.

Sure, it was nice to go home and see the family, but now I just feel kinda empty inside. I'm back at school, and everything is crazy because there's only two weeks until finals. But I can't focus. In the quiet moments when there's nothing distracting me from my own thoughts, I just want to cry, scream, do something to show some sort of emotion, but I can't. It's like I'm numb inside. I almost wonder if what I feel is loneliness, from being with family and friends and then going back to school where I am completely and utterly alone, but at the same time, I know it isn't. As awful as it sounds, I'm used to loneliness. I'm alone for 8 months out of the year. And yet at the same time, I'm surrounded by people.

Why can't I just be happy? Why do I have such an inability to meet people out here? As River says, "What am I?" I don't know what I'm saying......I never know what I'm saying.

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