Not a happy blog

Wednesday, September 20, 2006 1:33 AM

Please don't read this if you don't want to be depressed.

I was called into a mandatory department meeting yesterday. I'm in a small department of about 12 people and one manager. We were all sitting there about to begin when a senior manager & the head of HR walked in with somber faces. That's when I knew it wasn't going to be good.

While the HR person took a seat several feet away (as if to serve as a witness), the senior manager put on his Serious & Disappointed Face and proceeded to:
1. accuse us of things that weren't true
2. threaten to fire us
3. demand a loyalty oath from all of us

Can you believe that? I was dumbfounded. After the senior manager left, we calmly explained to our manager what the real facts were, and I thought we cleared the air. I told myself it doesn't really matter if some idiotic senior manager who doesn't know me questioned my loyalty to the company. Those who know me don't have to ask.

Then, today, my manager demanded to know if I'm on board. This is the same woman who was my co-worker when I started out eight years ago. Since she always got Friday afternoons off, I usually had to deal with company deadlines by myself every week. Whenever I commented to her that I'd had to put in a lot of overtime to meet a particular deadline, she'd scoff and say, "Why did you do that? They shouldn't expect you to do that."

Now, that same woman wants to know if I'm loyal. This is betrayal, in my eyes. Call me melodramatic if you want, but this and other managers have often commented on how hard I work, as well as how conscientious and reliable I am, but now they don't seem to know if I'm loyal unless I proclaim it to them.

I'm so depressed. There aren't many good jobs in this rather small town so I have few options, but believe me, I'm going to explore them now.

Now I have to face this person (whom I sit beside) tomorrow and all the days after that. She obviously thinks being a manager is more important than being a human being. I used to think she might be my friend, but I'm not under that illusion anymore. When I told her in an e-mail that I was disappointed that she had to ask if I'm loyal, she got all huffy and again demanded an answer. I typed one word: Yes. In other words, I lied. For the first time ever in that job, I lied. I hope she's happy.

I'm sure not.

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