Electric shredders! Whoot!

Friday, March 24, 2006 8:39 PM

We just got a brand new shredder for the house. Whoopeee! Never has recieving junk mail been so exciting, It makes this fabulous obnoxious whirring grinding noise as you feed all of those capitalone invites into it, I want more!

MORE!

ahem... *cough*

But it got me thinkin' Instead of just a boring little trash cans or junk-email folders, we need a virtual shredder for all our internet crapola.

Just think of the pleasure derived from watchin that!

I'm thinkin maybe something Python-esque, a Gilliamish spam nightmare of all those old essays forced by a giant foot into a sausage grinder, the remnants made into neat little sausages and consumed by a bunch of nuns who eventually flip over on their little branch and reveal their peachy little buttocks to the world.

The millitant anti-Bush league could have their own, I won't elaborate on what that would be like.

But how great would it be if it had a 'mean-ness' sliding scale, depending on how evil you were feeling that day it could go from 'hey, funny...funky..' to 'whoa, thats just wrong...'

And Judging by the popularity of the ranting thread over on talk (next bad day, just go hang out, It's kinda ...cathartic) Some of those setting would be permenantly whacked right up there in Maximum Wrongness. (I know mine would)

I suppose there could be the literal version as well, feeding all those phishing letters and Free! Years Supply of Viagra! junk notes into your virtual shredder and watching all those streams of letters and pixels flood forth.

Come on, who wouldn't find that satisfying?

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