QUICKSAND'S BLOG
Reasons You Should Fear "Serenity"
Monday, April 26, 2004 1:13 PM
We're all very optimistic and excited about "Serenity," coming not-soon-enough to a Theater Near Us. But I'd like to be the lone voice of cynicism and point of the Top 5 Things that could ROYALLY screw up this movie, and hope the appropriate people see this before shooting begins.5) If the movie opens within 8 weeks of Star Wars, in either direction. Don't do it. I know, I know, the Star Wars Prequels have been losing steam, particularly because they suck, but EIII is a DIRECT prequel to "A New Hope," it's the last one Lucas will ever make, the SW DVD Box Set comes out around the same time, and we ALL will go just on the off chance Jar Jar will die a horrible, screaming death. Plus, we don't want the public to confuse two Space Movies.
4) If Sarah Michelle Gellar is in this. We all love her, but thanks to The WB, "Buffy" is forever lumped in the same group with crap like "Charmed" and "I Know What Dawson's 7th Scream Was About Last Summer." Not by me, but by people we'll be recommending the movie to between now and '05.
3) Product Tie-Ins. Yeah, the show is in the future, but the Evil of the Studio is subtle. Maybe it's a catch-phrase, maybe it's a two-bit hack actor who will be on a sitcom the next fall. Remember when Jennifer Garner was in "Catch Me if You Can" for no reason? That's what I'm talkin' bout... no matter how hot she is.
2) The soundtrack. Slightly-under-the-radar bands on "Buffy" was cool, but I swear to god, if any member of Nickelback appears within 50 feet of this movie, I will murder people. Let Joss handle it, keep Studio out of it.
1) The Marketing Campaign. This has been done before, and badly: If you never watched X-Files or Star Trek, did those posters and TV spots make you want to see the movie? Of COURSE they didn't. Joss can break some new ground, if he doesn't get sucked down the "Alien: Resurrection" hole again.
We love you Joss, and like any loved one, we fear for your safety. Be cool.
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