ASARIAN'S BLOG
I Bruise Easily
Wednesday, March 1, 2006 2:04 PM
Kayna gave me such beautiful gift, the other day. And I still do not think she realizes how I'm still buzzing from the beauty of it. :) You know, earlier I blogged that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in people. But, conversely, it only takes the slightest touch to reach out to a person and heal them in ways you never expected.
Anyone who can touch you, can hurt you or heal you. Which is why I bruise easily. And which is also why my heart stays always open: to allow for people to touch me in ways that can heal me. River can, on occasion, unsettle me profoundly. But in a good way; in a way that allows me to connect to humanity, chaff and grain together. And like the Natasha Bedingfield song (yes, I had a life before the 'verse), I practise in staying vulnerable; as I'm fond of saying: my weakness is my strength. Perhaps I should just quote a verse:
My skin is like a map
Of where my heart has been
And I can't hide the marks
It's not a negative thing
So I let down my guard
Drop my defenses down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow
That is who I am; or aspire to be, at least. River allows me to fall deep. And that is good; because that's where I found her, yesterday: alone, in the deep, where she cried out, only no one could hear her. :( And I just sat there, and cried with her. :( And it was all good.
For River, the girl I found broken, a word from the book that is broken: From the depths, oh Lord, we cry unto You.
Speaking of depths, I have a young cousin; and, one day, he wished to teach me Pokemon; and, playful as I am, I let him. So, I was playing with his gameboy (Pokemon Yellow, I believe). And I recall being stuck in some stupid cave. But, lucky for me, I had an escape rope and could magically whisk out of there, lol. :) The other day, I was in that cave again. So, that's why this blog is...
For Kayna, the girl who threw me a rope, when I was at the end of mine.
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