NUCLEARDAY'S BLOG
Finally Figured Why I'm So Ruttin' Hooked
Friday, February 10, 2006 3:47 PM
Driving around town today, which is probably a bad idea what with the snow and black ice and all. And of course, my mind turns to Firefly. Actually, it happens alot in my car, 'cause it's a little bit like Serenity. It's... lived-in, well-worn, and held together mostly with tape, baling wire, and love. (Well, not so much the love... and what I wouldn't give for a spunky little mechanic to keep it flyin'... :) Anyways, said this before, but I like to pretend I'm flying a spaceship when I'm driving. Puts me in a Firefly mood and all that...So, doing some "precision" driving, and managing not to fish-tail too much, keeping an eye out for reavers, and my mind wanders, as it does... just wondering what our motley crew is up to.
And it hits me... I'm not wondering what they'd be doing if the show hadn't been cancelled, or how neat it would be if it was still running. I'm thinking like "gee I wonder how Simon and River are getting along, and if Kaylee ever managed to convince Mal to splurge for a spare catalyzer. How has Zoe been holding up, and what hijinks is Jayne getting into?" I almost had to stop myself and remember that these aren't real people.
Now, I'm not crazy. (Entirely... you can't prove it! :) I can tell fantasy from reality (except for that hazy couple of years some people like to call "college") But they aren't just characters, are they? They are real, living, breathing people. That, I realized is why I can't get the show out of my head lately. We're not talking about a bunch of stereotypical archetypes planted into a spaceship to progress the plot. The plot in Firefly is the characters. It's about what they're going through, not what sort of brilliant scheme they're going to come up with to foil Villian #3's plan.
And blah, blah, blah... I can ramble on and on about that stuff, really. Trust me, it happens quite frequently. But there's those more eloquent than I who could put it alot better. (Reading through Finding Serenity ATM, and yeah, some of those essays really sum that aspect up real good.)
Point here is: I've lost some good friends and family before, I've dealt with the stages of grief, etc (not looking for sympathy, just statin' a fact. I'm far, far from the only person out there to lose good people, my life ain't really all that bad, and I've been able to move on by this point in my life.) Thing that always struck me with death as odd, though, is the denial phase. Gee, haven't seen so-and-so in awhile, maybe I should give him a call... Oh, yeah, he's dead... ;p
All I'm saying is I get the same feelings with our BDH's. Emotionally, I'm not pissed that the show is cancelled so much as the fact that somewhere out there in the cosmos our band of ne'er do well's it out galavanting around the 'verse, having a grand old time and getting into all kinds of misadventures... and I'm missing out on it. That make any kind of sense?
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