All on board?

Monday, February 6, 2006 7:06 AM

I'm beginning to suffer from fierce, self-induced sleep deprivation. :) I find I am spending almost all day here, on the board. Last night I only slept a good 4 hours. Then I got up again, and turned on the screen. See, hadn't even turned my computer off. I pressed the "refresh" button, voraciously consuming the board, thread by thread. Or is the board consuming me? I would say the latter is the fairer comment.

I'm a bit frustrated, too. I am a slow man. Nothing like my dear River. I look like an idiot child, even without the comparison. :) Seriously, though, not really stupid, just slow. I generally take a lot a time, and thought, in what I write. Especially if I sense I can reach out to a person. But, as a consequence, I find it hard to keep up. Threads fall off the edge of the cliff so fast, the words are gone ere long.

And, honestly, I wish it weren't like that. I wish I could communicate more with people. Deeper, somehow. And that it were not a matter of catching them within the hour-or-so time frame until the thread has scrolled off. Not sure how to resolve this, yet. But I do find myself hunkering for human contact with my fellow browncoats.

I experience an intense sense of joy, though, from being all in the same boat together; from being part of this family. Yesterday, for instance, I made a chicken joke:

River: ... Squish!

Now, forget the joke. But what filled me with such joy, is that I can write these things, pun on a single word even, and people actually know what I'm talking about! :) That they 'get' the joke; that they know exactly at which point in the BDM River said that, and in what context. Furthermore, I get what they are saying! I know the lines; I recall the episodes from which they were paraphrased, and who said them. How cute is that? :)

And last night, in a FireFly episode, Kaylee said something relatively complex in Chinese, and, for the first time, I recognized it! And I said to myself: "I can't believe I actually know what she's saying!" :) And I've only been here for what, ten days? See, that is what gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling. I am home, here.

Now I just wish I could connect more. And get some sleep. Yes, that too. That's what started this entry. :)

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