Madness?

Thursday, February 2, 2006 7:51 PM

River, in a good way, is totally off the chart. She can kill with her brain, yet melts me with a look!

It's just... everything. The subtle things, like walking bare-foots, the right-after "Am I talking to Miranda now?" look. Or the, really underrated, "The Wonder Of It All" gaze, when she floats outside the ship in a space-suit. Or the "I Am Finally Home" smile at the end of the series.

-- taking a deep breath --

River, I tell you, has me frantically roam every particle of my being, scavenging for scrapes of decency, just so I can hand them to her! Her vulnerabilty is so disarming. It makes mountains crumble, and leaves entire armies in dust!

I always want to reach out to her, right through the walls of reality. Honestly, I find that I am constantly projecting myself into the scene, conjuring up cute ways in which I, as fictional extra, or member of the crew, can show her selfless affection. Could be as simple as when she peels the paper off some food cans. Then I imagine myself walking over to her, gently putting my hand on her shoulder, asking: "Hey, little worm, are you okay?"

Or I make up these situation where I, contrary to the others, of course, do something unexpectedly special for her. Like imagening she's playing with that gun, like in Object in Space, and she accidentally shoots me, the captain. And then, when I'm lying there in the infirmary, unconscious, they lock her up again. And how I then finally wake up, and go visit her. And how she's then all confused, and scared, and thinks I will now throw her off my boat, for sure. But how, in one huge climactic moment, I then approach her and ... just hug her tight. And how she then knows I will always love her. ... Sigh.

Things like that. :)

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