7 things you can do . . .

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 10:44 PM

. . . to piss off a pregnant woman or new mom.

1) Offer to come help after the baby is born. Proceed to do so by holding and rocking the baby and playing with it and handing the child back to the mother when he/she cries, needs a new diaper, etc. Helping means cooking, cleaning or letting mommy take a nap. Doing the fun stuff is not help. Picking out things for the nursury and decorating it is not helping either. Once again, that is the fun stuff. After having to put up with all the crap of child bearing, it is just plain wrong to steal the fun part of parenthood in the name of "helping".

2) Saying negative things about the name(s) she has chosen. This includes "Oh don't name him that! All the kids I knew named that were naughty."

3) Telling her that her house is a mess when she's 36 weeks pregnant. 'Nuff said there.

4) Telling her horror stories about when you gave birth.

5) Contradicting anything she says her doctor told her to do.

6) Sneaking around and feeding her child something that she specifically request that he not be fed. Why do people do this? Mommy could say, don't feed him strawberries, and though there are no strawberries around, someone will find some and shove them in the kid's mouth.

7) Call every day just to make sure that she didn't have the baby/babies and not tell you.

I'm sure I left a BUNCH out. Help me out here, preggos and mommies. Add to my list.

P.S. Looks like I'm gonna make it to full term *dances*.

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