Insomnia

Wednesday, June 8, 2005 4:18 PM

I am SO tired today. I feel like a zombie that got hit by a bus.
I usually have trouble sleeping. I have to take various herbs that help me sleep since those over the counter sleep aids tend to make me groggy all day long.
I've had insomnia since college, it comes and goes, I never know when it'll strike.
Last night I was so tired from weeks of not getting enough sleep, so I went to bed a bit early. I was very excited at the prospect of getting more than 8hrs. But I woke up around 2:30am to a HUGE thunderstorm. It was raining so hard it sounded like machine guns were being fired at my house. There may have been hail, I'm not sure.
My cat spends his nights on our screened in porch. He wants to be wild so that's as close as he gets. But he is terrified of thunder, so I had to get up and let him in. He was in near hysterics. He had to curl up in bed with me for awhile until he calmed down and then he ran around the house crying whenever it thundered (for such a large cat, he's really quite a baby.)
I just couldn't fall asleep after that. My mind was racing with so many different thoughts: what do I need to do tomorrow, what should I wear, what should I pack for lunch, what is the answer to life, the universe and everything (oh, wait, I know that one.) I could not turn my brain off. I was so exhausted I wanted to cry.
I did eventually fall asleep, and I slept for a couple of hours before my cat woke me up again, this time because the storm was over and he wanted back outside (the beast!). I let myself sleep in an extra half hour and gave up my morning walk, but all I really did was lie in bed with my eyes closed, pleading with sleep to give me just 10 minutes of it's time.
What I hate most about having insomnia is that it is so hard to be productive during the day. I become sleep obsessed; it's all I can think about. I have so many things I want to do, but I just can't drudge up the energy to do them. I don't give 100% at work, I let things slide at home. I'm grouchy all the time (and I hate being grouchy) and my mind wanders...
Anybody out there one of those sleep doctors who wants to do a study on me and fix me? I would not be opposed to that.

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