I just spend a half hour trapped in a bathroom.

Sunday, May 15, 2005 6:07 AM

Ahh the bathroom, the greatest room in the house right? WRONG my bathroom almost became my coffin! Ok maybe that’s an exaggeration- it almost became my bedroom for a night.

I went to the “Captain’s Head” (As I call it) to take a wiz. I shut the door when I realize what happened earlier today, the doorknob is broken and doesn’t turn! I hear the ‘click’ of the frozen bolt snapping in to place on the door jam. I try and turn the knob but it just spins around. I push up and down on the doorknob I rock it back and forth. Nothing!

I think, ok time to calm down, what tools do I have on hand… a comb, a bar of soap, the box the soap came in, an electric razor, a bottle of shampoo, and a bunch of coat hangers. Crap where’s a skill saw or hammer when you need one! I wedge open the metal plate of the doorknob with the box the soap came in and use the comb and coat hanger to push it open. No good. I wrap a towel around the door know and hit it with the bottle of soap. Still nothing. Damn I guess I’m not MacGyver after all. I’m getting desperate. I start thinking about how I could use the shower curtain as a blanket and the towels as pillows. I go all out on the knob I twist it a dozen times in a counter-clockwise direction and the door opens!!

[Mel Gibson]FRRRRREEEEEEDOM!!!! [/Mel Gibson]

Next I go to my room and grab a screwdriver then take off that damn doorknob for good.

... oh and after all that I still have to take a wiz...

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