Regarding Mr. Cent's generous offer to accompany me to the Candy Shop.

Friday, February 25, 2005 4:58 AM

I must respectfully decline.

I realized something in the shower today. Mr. Cent ("Fiddy" to his freinds) proclaims in his single "Candy Shop" that he has "never brought it like this before." I propose that he has, in fact, brought it like this before. I cite one "Magic Stick" by Li'l Kim featuring Fifty Cent. The similarities are evident in parts of both songs.

I mention this not because I am adverse to Mr. Cent's vocal stylings. On the contrary, I have become quite fond of his works. They speak to humanity on a most universal level. Which one of us has not loved someone or something like a fat kid loves cake? I am merely pointing out an inconsistansy that has been bugging me since I originally heard "Candy Shop" until I had my epiphany ealry today butt naked in the shower. I am, however, concerned about Mr. Cent's use of the metaphor. I do not believe that the lollipop offered is quite as innocent as I initially believed. And I am begining to suspect that "Magic Stick" is not just a song about baseball, though I hear plans to incorporated it into the directors cut of "The Natural" are unhindered.

Enough nonsense for now. I must analyze a speech given by President Johnson and the prose must flow from my finger tips like [insert profound simile].

Droppy

P.S. If I were, however, invited to the "Candy Shop" by the captain, I might be inclined to overlook some sexual prerences I suppose...lol.

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